my, how the time flies

part of me [a lot of me] wishes that i would stop hearing:

"it goes by so fast.." sighhhh

i mean, i know it goes by fast, so fast, you know? but what if, just if, we actually have an idea that it's supposed to go by slower than it does and our remarking at how quickly time goes by is actually our rebellion against changing times and how quickly they seem to occur? what if it doesn't actually go by so fast? and what is it? okay, i'll give you that. it is time. i mean, obviously.

maybe this is just a new mother panicking because i found myself taking in all of the tiny bundle that joseph is as he slept, knowing that it is going to go by so fast, and at the same time knowing that i don't really want it to stay the same as it is forever but what if sometimes i do just a little?

when jeremy and i started dating, i was pretty concerned by the amount that i liked him [dare i say loved?] and how, given a lifetime of say, 85 years, i wasn't sure i was going to have enough time with him. i'm still not. and now we've added this perfect little boy to our lives - am i going to have enough time with him? to what extent will the speed at which this time goes by affect if it's enough? it seems that if i could just stop thinking about how "fast it goes," perhaps i'd be more likely to allow joseph to have some joseph-time to himself without his mom always around.

but he's just so stinking cute and i really do love how he curls up on his left side and clasps his hands together under his chin while he sleeps.

sigh.

not that big of a sigh as in sighhhh, where did the time go? but more just sigh.


in other news, i purchased two stems of baby's breath in my first non-social outing with joseph to hyvee. and now i have glass jars with baby's breath in my home and they look so pretty.

also, melissa and dustin are driving to florida and were going to borrow our accord for the amazing gas mileage we boasted about after driving to gulf shores and back. they left this morning only to find themselves about 20 minutes east on i-70 in a vehicle with amazing gas mileage but an only sometimes reliable stereo system. i guess in our enthusiasm over stopping just twice to fill 'er up, we neglected to mention that you've got to be driving for a minimum of an hour to get the cd player to warm up and even then, the chances of a cd playing are slim. and stereo warm up time starts over no matter how quickly you were in and out of the gas station. so they drove back and switched cars. i love that.