a horse of a different color

i just want to tell somebody.
i'm not actually sure what i want to tell but that's how i feel - drawn here to write something.

this is kind of new - i am trying to correctly capitalize my emails now. i'm not sure when it will carry over to here.

things are actually kind of hard right now. what's funny is that i changed that sentence from "really" to "pretty" to "kind of" hard. so i guess in reality it's really "really."

good ol', well, new, mustard seed is getting a lot of face time these days. it's been overwhelming but then overwhelming becomes 15 volunteers on a thursday night and one big wall painted a deep green daisy color so overwhelming becomes less breakdown and more good.

and i'm thinking about rejoining facebook.

i think i'm going to call my little sister back from two days ago. she got a car i hear. i love her.

weird

i can read all of my posts on this in one page.
where did all the words go?

i have about 8 minutes until i start my workday. 8-5, lunch/talk on the phone so rushed lunch eating for 1 hour, end the day trying to end thinking about the day. working from home has been tough but it's going to get better when i'm at the store and not the kitchen table.

funny that this is what i first think to write when all of the time i've been off work i've been avoiding talking about work. but here it is, the first thing i mention in my 8 minutes of writing.

i found an antique fan at itchy's stop & scratch flea market. i love it. it doesn't really work for very long but if i plug it in and spin the blades a bit, it will work for a while.

God has surpised me in a very sweet way this week - i stood only a week ago at the kitchen sink, which is red, by the way, and wondered if i have friends, if i am a friend to anyone, if i even know how to be a friend, much less a good friend. and then he just threw all these friends at me at once. thanks.

7:56.. 7:57..

i'm learning. growing. typing about it all...

happy thursday.

game plan

weeks until september 15, 2008: 9.
things that need to be done: all. (but in a logical, manageable manner.)
mustard seed fair trade dot org - coming soon.

love,
ally rose

for real

time to:
paint the window frames
develop the mustard seed branding package
go to a movie by myself
return phone calls by the threes
reconnect with grilled cheese sandwiches

p.s. sometimes when i'm uncomfortable i say yo instead of hi.

so.

this happened.

(the beginning of mr. & mrs. dustin shryock)

this happened.

(the meeting of grandma wolf on the other side of the world)

this happened.

(the settling in of our new home across town)

and more. (tell you later)

in addition, i really want to go on a float trip starting at the caveman barbeque.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/4102

things jeremy has said in the past week

i'm tough. i'm tough and i'm rugged. don't mess with me.

(following one of my breakthroughs)
you have issues. deep issues. with roots like an oak tree.

(regarding j.crewcuts)
man, babies and kids... i wouldn't pay $500 for them, much less to dress them. i've seen rewards for less than that.

(regarding him showing up alone to a double date)
oh, jessie couldn't be here; she's hanging out with megan. so how are you guys? man, it feels so good to be out of the house - i don't get out much these days. yeah, after college things just went downhill...

(regarding my reading of mrs. mike aloud)
oak tree.

for a price

about a month ago, i experienced a display of poor customer service at the words of a manager of the columbia mall gap. so i wrote a letter. it was invigorating - i released and maybe exaggerated every bit of offense this woman caused me in a word for word account to both the corporate gap customer service department and the store itself.

and they wrote back. i received a letter from gap inc. including a formal documentation of this particular employee's behavior, a sincere apology, and a $20 gift card to the gap of my choice.

which got me thinking... exactly how much should gap owe me for my emotional injury? my first reaction was something like "if they think $20 is gonna get me back in that store, they've got another letter coming.." but it's $20. to gap. come on. is returning to the mall with 20 gap bucks after 3 experiences with the same horrific manager, one in which i was indirectly referred to as larger than "fluffy," selling out?

if that isn't, what about selling out in a greater sense, selling out in a way that could potentially change the course of one's life? am i or could i potentially be a sell out?

how much would mcdonald's have to pay me to make a mclatte? what about $12 an hour? with benefits?

and what's wrong with frappuccinos anyway? why can't i go into a starbucks and with a clear conscience just order the creamy caffeinated somewhat chunky goodness of a java chip frappuccino? oh.. i work at the artisan. right.

but the office is so much cheaper at wal-mart. and we need butter. wait, why don't i shop at wal-mart again?

and did rascall flatts buy my affections because they're sort of country sort of pop and maybe not genuinely either? and while we're talking music, i guess i could burn you the wicked soundtrack, i mean, i bought tickets to the show so they have enough of my money, right?

on tuesday i received a call from ada, the general manager of gap #916. she sincerely apologized for the behavior of the manager with the attitude, shared my sympathies over her choice of words, and informed me that her last day will be march 3. she actually thanked me for writing the letter, explaining that she needed a tangible reason to let this person go and my letter was it. then she apologetically stated that she'd be sending me a $50 gift card and hoped i'd come in after march 3 to see their new spring arrivals.

so maybe i wouldn't sell out for $20. but $70?